I am learning to live with my imperfections and quit trying to be a perfect woman. A perfect mother. Motherhood is joy and fulfillment that give me pride. It is also dark times and making mistakes that I want to hide. It’s not just me. I hear it over and over during talks with friends and interviews for Our Southern Souls.
A knife is what killed 26-year-old SatorI Richardson on July 4, 2014. Her boyfriend stabbed her 32 times, strangled her, put her in the bathtub, then set their apartment on fire. Her four-year old daughter saw it happen before she got out. Satori had almost been killed by another boyfriend the year before. I met Satori's mother, Davona Tinsley, today. A victim of domestic violence herself, Davona is raising her two grandchildren and using her daughter's death to encourage other women to get out of abusive relationships.
Michael A. Figures Community Center is at the heart of the neighborhood with a pool, tennis courts and baseball fields. Mr. Woody, a student mentor, helps run the center and offered to buy me a Coke and candy bar when I walked in
They gather together every morning at Kountry Korner gas station in Union Church. Steam rising from coffee in styrofoam cups as they sit in plastic chairs between the wine and potato chips aisle and the wall of drink coolers.
We don’t have to leave home to find our purpose. We can stay here and look between the lines and through the cracks to find it. Serving our communities with purpose. This may not make the news, but it is how we make this country better.
Brittany shouldn't have walked into Serda's to meet me and tell her story. She shouldn't even be hugging her two kids every morning. On May 11, 2015, the day after Mother's Day, her ex-boyfriend and father of her children, found out that she was seeing another man and broke into her apartment seeking revenge.
I have been to the Fairhope pier hundreds of times and have never seen anyone fishing off the end of the boardwalk in a wheelchair. Her name is Patricia and she can't walk today because she was shot in 1996 by friendly fire while she was a nurse in Germany. The soldier was on PCP. She had been a military nurse for 16 years and started life over after her medical discharge.
It hurts to hear one of the most optimistic people I know talk about losing ground. He is one I turn to for honest conversations about race, often the issues that we as a community avoid talking about. Maybe it takes a crisis to make us ask questions and pay attention to the reasons for the emotions behind the anger.
Unbuttoning my soul. I turn 48 on Friday. Two days and two years from 50 and I have been through a season of "unbuttoning my soul" through mistakes, consequences and soul-searching. Untangling issues from the past becomes one knot leading to another. Learning better ways to communicate, care for the people I love and letting go of my own selfishness. At least trying to.
Every day a stranger comes into my life. We have a conversation that changes me in some way and then they disappear like we never met. Just an empty place where they used to be. What if I had been there a minute sooner or later and missed them? Or missed them because I wasn't paying attention.
Sitting on the steps, it is easy to imagine this as a place of healing and hope with programs that give second, third or fifth chances to turn lives around. Are there people who would share Hixon's vision and make it happen? Is Mobile ready to become a city of radical neighborliness?
They say gunshots sound like firecrackers. They are right. I heard them myself today. And felt the fear.
Mobile has a similar story about people being ashamed of what she became, giving up, and getting out. However, some of her own people are standing up and believing she can be better. That we can do more if we work together.
The city that prides itself in parades rarely has a procession like this. Hundreds of police cars driving slowly with lights flashing for miles in respect of the slain officer who had only served for two years. All of those the blue lights and not one siren. Heartbreaking silence. They have come from Baton Rouge, Hattiesburg, Saraland, Satsuma and Hoover. Dallas, Texas, Escambia County, Florida and Maryland. Firefighters stand at attention in front of their firetrucks parked in the medians.
“Put your phone down and pay attention to what is going on around you. That is where life is. That is what you write about."
This was the first thing Rick Bragg told us on the first day of his feature writing class at the University of Alabama. It was the first thing I wrote in my notebook and the first thing I read when I went back through the notes a few weeks ago searching for tips to become a better interviewer and writer.
